Nick Miller: You join Forest at a point of great despair. It's all going quite wrong and it looks like our beloved Stuart Pearce might be given the heave-ho, possibly even if you win on Saturday. Will you be gentle with us? Please?
Laura Jones: Oh we're very good at ending bad runs for other teams so I wouldn't worry yourself too much. We might be knackered after the Manchester City match so we're giving you a chance. I see you've managed to get around the transfer embargo by the charitable Sky Transfer fund.
NM: The Football League: where not only is a transfer embargo not a transfer embargo, but we'll give you a raffle prize to help out too. Looks like we might've got the second-best Chelsea loan of the week though - this Lewis Baker looks handy. Is he going to play?
LJ: Love a good raffle. At least you got Todd Kane and not some lavender scented talcum powder. Sounds like Lewis Baker might play on Saturday. Desperately what we've needed. A creative midfielder who can put a cross in. Chelsea Youth team seem chuffed with him.
NM: We've tried everything else at this point, so I'd be perfectly happy to give some lavender-scented talc a go at left-back. Has Lewis McGugan been doing the old 'go missing for 85 minutes then do something brilliant' schtick?
LJ: He's gone back to Watford! Royston Drenthe has also gone back to Reading en route to a distinguished career in China. Of the two Drenthe made more impact. McGugan had good touches but was fairly absent during his loan spell. Can't think of a moment of brilliance from him.
NM: That's our Lewis. We loved him, but boy could that lad be useless. Who should we be looking out for among your lot, then?
LJ: Our defence is a as solid as they come. Tom Lees was a ridiculed signing by Leeds United fans but he's be an absolute rock in central defence. Jeremy Helan plays left-back and left-midfield depending on whether Joe Mattock is fit. He's fast, he can get forward and he can tackle. If you do manage to get past the defence then you've got to get through Keiren Westwood who is quite simply the best keeper we've had in many, many, many years. Hopefully he's back fit for Saturday.